“Is this how you are meant to do it, is this the rubbish I paid for? What kind of rubbish is this… Your deadline is tomorrow, if you don’t clean up this mess, you’d be fired”
You are having a pretty bad day and it seems like the world is against your existence. Your anxiety has risen beyond normal, you are crying inside out, and suicidal thoughts coming left and right.
Or you are in a situation with your parents (ASUU is currently on strike as of the period of this writeup) where you don’t have your freedom at all. Your parents are frustrating the living hell out of you, you just want to leave the house at all costs. You want to leave the house but then realize, you are not making enough to sustain your bills, data, cream, and the rest talk-less of paying house rent or hostel fees, etc. You feel like the world is crumbling down but you just know you can’t give up!
YOU CAN’T GIVE UP!
You can’t just give up!. Well, those words are just mere motivational words that won’t just work like that in the real world.
A coping mechanism is an adaptation to environmental stress that is based on conscious or unconscious choice and that enhances control over behavior or gives psychological comfort. Yorubas will say “eni to ba sú oyinbo ni ile anó, nór lo ma tú mo é” that is, he who speaks big grammar should explain…
Therefore, coping mechanism is something a person does to deal with a difficult situation.
Those actions you do when you are feeling bad or sad whether consciously or unconsciously just to make yourself feel better psychologically.
To explain these further, I’d give an example of what I do when I’m feeling sad, it’s actually going to be weird. What I do is, listen to music (I think many people do this, go silent everywhere but physically and even on social media, read the news (yes, I read the news a lot), talk to someone if possible, and DON’T GO OUT or rather limit public places, use nose mask.
We will see people who would say that coping mechanisms are different from defense mechanisms, which is true but both belong to the same genre. Defense mechanisms mostly occur at an unconscious level, and people are generally unaware they are using them. One’s use of coping mechanisms, on the other hand, is typically conscious and purposeful but both trying to achieve comfort psychologically when facing extreme situations.
MECHANISM FOR MESS
Everything boils down to mental stability, if anybody is not mentally stable, they cannot function properly.
We have different mechanisms to deal with messed days.
– Relaxation: Likeeee calm down, relax “your blood too dey hot” like my brothers will say. One of the few things I will recommend is to relax, you could sleep, meditate, go to the beach or where you can appreciate mother nature. Do everything to relax.
– Music: I would have loved to put music under relaxation but not everyone has the same genre of music as me, I cannot be sad and be listening to Adele, that’s a suicide mission. I would rather listen to ‘tugba’ with some better talking drum that will make me move my body or Afro-fusion. Yours might not be the same as mine but listening to music would help a lot.
– Support: They normally say “A problem shared is a problem solved”. If we are not going to lie, it’s actually true because even if the person you are sharing the problem with doesn’t know the answer, it gives you incite on the issue to see the situation from a different angle. Apart from that, it relieves you of your burden. Having a go-to person is very essential for everyone but it’s quite hard for single people like me *insert tears.
One tree cannot make a forest, having a good person to speak your heart to, would help you grow(emphasis on the ‘good’).
– Physical Activity: Sometimes play, be forming big boss here and there instead of you to join pillow fights and play. Not attacking anyone here but physical activities help enlighten the mood like performing an exercise, going out for fun, playing football, or whatever the case may be just to get out of your current cycle of life. It will help you a lot.
– Problem to Solution: I purposely placed this one at the last because, when you follow the above procedures you will less sad and even be able to think of a solution. ‘Think outside the box’ You cannot think outside the box when you are still in the box, the moment you take a break new ideas begin to surface and you would solve the problem. Even beyond solving the problem, you will be psychologically stable.
– Some might not agree with this but sometimes pray, in whatever way you feel is best. Pour your heart to God, He will definitely hear you.
“Wow, I’m proud of you… You took my pressure from yesterday and came out with something beautiful today, sorry I shouted at you at the beginning of the write-up. You have done a great job, I won’t threaten you with ‘sack’ again ok?”
Finally, you won.
Burna’s lyrics of last last Begin to ring in your head.
“Omo, me, I be adult oh
I no go fit take your
I no go fit take your insult oh
Omo, mind as you dey talk oh
I put my life into my job”
Thanks to Ife and everyone waiting, I’m back!