What are your fears? Do you feel unease whenever you want to make a big move that would advance your life?
Why hold yourself back when you ought to move forward? What fears are preventing you from making your dream a reality?
Why are you avoiding the responsibilities that come with facing your fear?
How long will this continue?
I know you want a glorious life – who doesn’t? You want to live a life of purpose, impact, honor, health, and wealth.
Then what happens? Why does it appear you are living the opposite of the life you want?
Why is your fear controlling you? Why is your fear of failure greater than your assurance of victory?
You know what…
“Excuses is next to fearfulness.” – Oluboba Ayodeji
As a teenager, I always desire to dress great but just could not – fear of being different among others.
Run scan among youths and what you see is the big devil – fear of rejection.
You feel fear of being rejected. They crave acceptance and so seek help from the wrong hands.
So whatever your fears may be – failure, success, rejection, etc – they are all hindrances to fulfilling your dreams.
When you read to the end of this article, you will learn how to overcome your fears now and forever.
What is Fear?
Fear is an emotion (mostly unpleasant) that arises from threats of harm. This harm could be physical or mental.
Fear is natural and powerful. It is biochemical and emotional.
Fear is one of the topmost influential factors in our lives whether real or imagined. It could be an advantage and sometimes a disadvantage.
An advantage is that it could prepare you to survive a physical threat. It helps you take the fight-or-flight response.
The disadvantage is that it could be the very reason we are not where we ought to be. It has everything it takes to hold you back from you achieving your goals.
The Basics Types of Fear
- Fear of Criticism: Have you ever pleased those around you, even when you know it’s wrong?
- Fear of Poverty: Do you desire to be wealthy but somehow doubt if your future will be financially promising?
- Fear of ill Health: Have you ever been afraid that you may someday get sick? I mean, you expect sickness.
- Fear of Loss of Love of Someone: Do you feel secure about your relationship?
- Fear of Future: Are you afraid of what the future holds for you?
The Danger of Fears and its Negative Effects
I explained here how dangerous your fear could be and what it does to the body.
- Fear denies you the courage to ask what you deserve.
An example is you asking your boss for a pay raise when you know your output has increased. You know you deserve higher pay, but you just can’t ask.
- Fear makes what ought to be fun seem uncomfortable.
How was your experience the first time you approach a lady? How about your first date? Do you feel shy and intimidated?
- Fear stops you from leaving your old bad habits.
Smokers say they can’t stop smoking even when they are dying. An obese is not willing to let go of chocolate.
- Fear cheats you of your profit in business
You are afraid of investing for fear of loss. But then you have forgotten that if you do your homework and face your fears, it could turn into substantial rewards.
- Fear prevents you from pursuing your goals.
You want to be a writer, but you are afraid of writing. Okay, you have always wanted to be a public speaker. Then what happens?
I used to be this way about some years back. If you want to kill me, ask me to go speak in public. It was a terrible moment then.
- Fear keeps good friends out of your life.
If your life is boring, that could result from your fears to go out and talking to someone. The fear of people at work here!
But then I want you to realize that your fears are more of perception (a belief) and not of reality. Let me tell you, what you are afraid of is afraid of you.
If you can’t identify your fears, you will struggle to make excellent decisions. Until you discover how to overcome your fears, you will keep living second class (if not third class).
Don’t live your life on autopilot.
I advise you to look at your fears this day and face them.
Stay with me to learn how to overcome your fears both of people and in life.
How to Overcome your Fears of People and in Life
You will learn proven and tested ways on how to overcome your fears. Let’s begin.
Avoid the News
If people in the media cannot decide whether they are in the business of reporting news or manufacturing propaganda, it is all the more important that the public understand that difference, and choose their news sources accordingly. – Thomas Sowell
Sometimes we become afraid because we are concerned for family, health, and personal reasons. Other times for things outside of our control (Pandemics, wars, economic instability.)
Nothing pollutes the mind that those things are outside of our control. They have bigger effects on us for the fact we can’t do anything about them.
And the vehicle through which we become “informed” of these happenings in the News.
“Disease is to sickness; mind pollution is to fear.” – Oluboba Ayodeji
We get this news from friends and news sources. Then we are afraid of what could happen next.
The more control of your life you give out, the fearful you become. I believe a smart to stay happy and be in control is to limit what you pay attention to.
There is no straightforward way to lose control of your life to the media sources than sticking with their programs ([email protected], 4 O’clock news, and more).
I want you to know that the media houses make more money from bad news. Bad news trends faster and sells more because it gives the masses something to argue upon.
The American Psychology Association confirmed that news consumption has a downside.
Let me tell you what the news does to you.
- Negative news increases your worries
- It causes you frustration and stressed you up.
- Negative news clogs your mind and destroys your productivity.
- It makes you anxious, fatigued, and sleepless.
- Negative news arose fears and makes you feel unsafe.
The more you watch out for news, the more vulnerable you become. And the more of yourself you lose.
Does your career depend on updates from current news? If it is, filter the news you receive.
Seek unbiased independent news sources to update you. Limit your reading to your section alone.
Okay! So understand not all things are worth your time and news are one among many.
Accept that your Fears are not Real
Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice. ― Will Smith
What if I fail? Yet you passed. What if I am not good enough?
Still, there is someone out there who admires you. What if I lose? But you won and still winning.
Will our country crumble? The country is still standing.
I can’t start this business since the government may make a new policy. The government has made no policy.
How am I going to eat? You are still alive and healthy today.
Why am I citing these examples?
It’s because I want you to understand that your fears are not real.
The dangers may be real, but not your fears. The situations may be present, but your fears are only present in the mind.
The power your fear has is the attention you give to it. Feed it more and it rules you.
Come out of your imagination! And rule your world.
Look unto the Positive
The Pessimist Sees Difficulty In Every Opportunity. The Optimist Sees Opportunity In Every Difficulty.—Winston Churchill
What do you do when you are afraid? Do you see opportunity or difficulty?
Since it’s impossible to eliminate fear, aim to live above it. You can do this by replacing it with positive thoughts and beliefs.
I was with a girl 4 days ago. She was explaining to me how much she fears public speaking. Then, she mentioned how some persons speak with no single fear in them.
I had to come in… I said to her
“That may not be true. Those speakers you mention also have fears in them. But here is the difference between you both. They have learned to raise themselves above fears via their beliefs and thoughts which you haven’t.”
How about you? Do you raise your confidence above your fears? Do you nurture your belief to think positive and see the good in all?
If you examine yourself, you will notice you have conquered your fears several times without knowing. I urge you to stand on the promise of, “If I can do it then, I can do better now.”
Henceforth, see something positive in yourself, something greater than your fears. Do this and you will conquer a lot.
Think about how you can help people rather than worrying about if they will reject you.
Thinking positive may not take away your fear, but it will propel you to take action. Therefore, leading to your victory.
Spend Time with Something Outside you
Our greatest evils come moments we think nothing and do nothing. – Oluboba Ayodeji
Another great way to overcome fear is to spend time with people who accept you as you are. This gives you room to share how you feel. And they may be a source of encouragement.
I like to watch children (below 5) play and listen to elders (above 60). These persons have almost no worries in life. Their thinking is wide and open, with no limitations like the average adult.
Play and have fun with them, you will forget you once had anything called fear. Talk to someone. Explain your fears. You will feel relieved.
Overcome your Fears by Speaking to your Destiny
In the God Family, there is no fear. And I am the Son. – Oluboba Ayodeji.
I encourage you to ponder on the quote above and say it with confidence. It can serve as a source of peace to you in days of fear.
In your tongues lies the power to build and destroy. So while don’t destroy your fears and build your confidence.
I spoke not only to myself when alone or in a quiet environment. I have made it a lifestyle to speak to my destiny anytime, anywhere.
If you can pray without ceasing, speak positive things to your destiny without ceasing.
You don’t have to say the same thing as given to you by someone else. Craft out yours according to your faith.
How do you do that?
Imagine what you want your current situation to be in near future, that becomes what to speak.
If you fear your presentation won’t go well. You can say to yourself, “I am bold, calm and the winner in this meeting”.
But if your mind still makes you feel you are a liar. Cause it happens sometimes.
Then turn it into a choice.
Say to yourself, “I make the choice to be bold, calm and thus I am the winner in his meeting
As you say these words, don’t overthink, don’t analyze. Accept as though it were.
It is my prayer you see positive results as you face and overcome your fears in life. Amen!
I Celebrate You!